《Word Crimes》歌词

[00:00:00] Word Crimes - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇)
[00:00:01] Everybody shut up WOO
[00:00:09] Everyone listen up
[00:00:11] Hey hey hey uh
[00:00:13] Hey hey hey
[00:00:18] If you can't write in the proper way
[00:00:22] If you don't know how to conjugate
[00:00:26] Maybe you flunked that class
[00:00:28] And maybe now you find
[00:00:29] That people mock you online
[00:00:33] Okay now here's the deal
[00:00:35] I'll try to educate ya
[00:00:37] Gonna familiarize
[00:00:39] You with the nomenclature
[00:00:41] You'll learn the definitions
[00:00:43] Of nouns and prepositions
[00:00:45] Literacy's your mission
[00:00:47] And that's why I think it's a
[00:00:49] Good time
[00:00:51] To learn some grammar
[00:00:53] Now did I stammer
[00:00:55] Work on that grammar
[00:00:56] You should know when
[00:00:59] It's "less" or it's "fewer"
[00:01:01] Like people who were
[00:01:03] Never raised in a sewer
[00:01:04] I hate these word crimes
[00:01:07] Like I could care less
[00:01:09] That means you do care
[00:01:11] At least a little
[00:01:12] Don't be a moron
[00:01:15] You'd better slow down
[00:01:17] And use the right pronoun
[00:01:19] Show the world you're no clown
[00:01:20] Everybody wise up
[00:01:20] Say you got an "I" "T"
[00:01:22] Followed by apostrophe "s"
[00:01:25] Now what does that mean
[00:01:26] You would not use
[00:01:27] "it's" in this case
[00:01:29] As a possessive
[00:01:30] It's a contraction
[00:01:32] What's a contraction
[00:01:34] Well it's the shortening of a word
[00:01:35] Or a group of words
[00:01:35] By the omission of a sound or letter
[00:01:37] Okay now here's some notes
[00:01:38] Syntax you're always mangling
[00:01:40] No "x" in "espresso"
[00:01:42] Your participle's danglin'
[00:01:44] But I don't want your drama
[00:01:46] If you really wanna
[00:01:48] Leave out that Oxford comma
[00:01:50] Just keep in mind
[00:01:51] That "be" "see" "are" "you"
[00:01:54] Are words not letters
[00:01:56] Get it together
[00:01:58] Use your spellchecker
[00:01:59] You should never
[00:02:02] Write words using numbers
[00:02:04] Unless you're seven
[00:02:06] Or your name is Prince
[00:02:07] I hate these word crimes
[00:02:10] You really need a
[00:02:12] Full time proofreader
[00:02:13] You dumb mouth-breather
[00:02:15] Well you should hire
[00:02:18] Some cunning linguist
[00:02:19] To help you distinguish
[00:02:22] What is proper English
[00:02:24] One thing I ask of you
[00:02:25] Time to learn your homophones
[00:02:26] Is past due
[00:02:27] Learn to diagram a sentence too
[00:02:29] Always say "to whom"
[00:02:30] Don't ever say "to who"
[00:02:31] And listen up when I tell you this
[00:02:33] I hope you never use quotation
[00:02:34] Marks for emphasis
[00:02:35] You finished second grade
[00:02:36] I hope you can tell
[00:02:37] If you're doing good or doing well
[00:02:39] About better figure out the difference
[00:02:41] Irony is not coincidence
[00:02:42] And I thought that you'd gotten it
[00:02:44] Through your skull
[00:02:44] What's figurative and what's literal
[00:02:47] Oh but just now you said
[00:02:49] You literally couldn't get out of bed
[00:02:51] That really makes me want to literally
[00:02:52] Smack a crowbar upside
[00:02:53] Your stupid head
[00:02:54] I read your e-mail
[00:02:57] It's quite apparent
[00:02:59] Your grammar's errant
[00:03:01] You're incoherent
[00:03:02] Saw your blog post
[00:03:05] It's really fantastic
[00:03:07] That was sarcastic
[00:03:08] (Oh psych )
[00:03:09] 'Cause you write like a spastic
[00:03:10] I hate these Word Crimes
[00:03:13] Your prose is dopey
[00:03:15] Think you should only
[00:03:17] Write in emoji
[00:03:18] Oh you're a lost cause
[00:03:21] Go back to pre-school
[00:03:22] Get out of the gene pool
[00:03:24] Try your best to not drool
[00:03:27] Never mind I give up
[00:03:32] Really now I give up
[00:03:34] Hey hey hey
[00:03:36] Hey hey hey
[00:03:38] Go Away
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