《’Twas The Night After Christmas》歌词

[00:00:03] Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer

[00:00:06] The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler

[00:00:09] The tube socks hung empty no candies or toys

[00:00:13] I was camped out on my old La-Z-Boy

[00:00:16] The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife

[00:00:19] The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives

[00:00:23] My wife couldn't argue and neither could I

[00:00:26] So I watched TV and my wife she just cried

[00:00:30] When out in the yard the dog started barkin'

[00:00:33] I stood up and looked and saw Sheriff Larkin

[00:00:36] He yelled "Roy I amd sworn to uphold the laws

[00:00:40] And I got a complaint from a feller named Clause "

[00:00:44] I said "Clause I don't know nobody named Clause

[00:00:48] And you ain't takin me in without probable cause "

[00:00:51] Then the Sheriff he said "The man was shot at last night "

[00:00:56] I said "That might've been me just whats he look like

[00:00:59] The Sheriff replied "Well he's a jolly old feller with a big beer gut belly

[00:01:04] That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly

[00:01:08] He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry "

[00:01:11] I said "That sounds like my wife's sister Sherri "

[00:01:14] "It's no time for jokes Roy " the Sheriff he said

[00:01:18] "The man I'm describing is dressed all in red

[00:01:21] I'm here for the truth now it's time to come clean

[00:01:24] Tell me what you done and tell me what you seen "

[00:01:28] Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell

[00:01:31] It wouldn't be the first time I spent New Years in jail

[00:01:35] I said "Sheriff it happened last night about ten

[00:01:39] I thought that my wife had been drinking again "

[00:01:42] When she walked in from works she was white as a ghost

[00:01:46] I thought maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's

[00:01:50] But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head

[00:01:53] And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red

[00:01:57] Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shutter

[00:02:01] A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter

[00:02:05] Well my hands were a shaking as I grabbed my gun

[00:02:09] When outta Red's chimney this feller did run

[00:02:12] And slung on his back was this bag overflowin'

[00:02:16] I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin'

[00:02:21] So I yelled "Drop it fat boy hands in the air "

[00:02:25] But he went about his business like he hadn't a care

[00:02:28] So I popped off a warning shot over his head

[00:02:32] Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled

[00:02:35] And as he flew off i heard him extort

[00:02:38] "Thats assault with intent Roy I'll see you in court "Ill tell you what sheriff if you put a subnet

[00:02:49] On me I wont show up ill hold up in the cellar

[00:02:52] And you’ll never rout me outta there

[00:02:53] So why don’t you just

[00:02:55] Turn car off come

[00:02:59] In well watch wrestling eat some

[00:03:01] Easter bunny stew and talk about howta catch that tooth fairy

[00:03:04] She’s been over here about every other night