《Clampetts Go to Maui (Album Version)》歌词

[00:00:00] I'll give you an idea of what kind of family mine is

[00:00:02] This is a true story

[00:00:03] About 9 or 10 months ago I did somethin I had always wanted to do

[00:00:05] I cashed in all my frequent flyer miles

[00:00:08] I took everybody in my family to Hawaii 13 people

[00:00:12] Thinkin this would be the vacation of a lifetime

[00:00:16] It ended up bein the Clampetts go to Maui

[00:00:21] Cuz you get my family together and there is an empty K mart somewhere

[00:00:27] They showed up at the airport they were usin coolers and grocery bags for luggage

[00:00:32] The sky cap was like which ones yours the samsonite

[00:00:37] They were like no we got the igloo with the duct tape on it and the 5 piggly wiggly bags right there

[00:00:51] At the ticket counter I asked my mother I said mom would you like to sit next to the window

[00:00:54] She goes oh I better not I just had my hair fixed

[00:01:01] And on the plane the movie they were showin on the plane was Homeward Bound The Incredible Journey

[00:01:06] 5 minutes into this movie my brother turns to me and goes You know that ain't them dogs real voice

[00:01:16] My sister got mad well thanks for spoilin it for everybody else

[00:01:25] And we were stayin right on the beach in fact the whales were migrating through

[00:01:28] You could stand on the balcony and watch whales come up out of the water

[00:01:32] First morning there my brothers out there goin man I wish I had a gun with a scope on it

[00:01:38] How much does it cost to mount a whale ANYBODY KNOW

[00:01:42] I'd have to get a bigger trailer I'll tell ya that

[00:01:49] And you could tell which rooms were ours

[00:01:51] Ours were the ones with the underwear hangin off the rail

[00:01:55] According to the manager the sight of the only peeing for distance contest they had ever had

[00:02:02] Which I am ashamed to say my Aunt Rose won in the second round

[00:02:13] We are a classy bunch

[00:02:16] My uncle Doug kept askin When we gonna convert our money to Hawaiin money

[00:02:24] This is the same uncle Doug we went to a luau and you know how they always ask people to volunteer to hula dance

[00:02:28] Ol' Doug volunteered

[00:02:30] Halfway through the dance we all realize Doug's not wearin any underwear underneath his hula skirt

[00:02:37] We asked him about it later and he goes well when I went to put my skirt on I noticed I had a hole in my drawers and I didn't wanna embarrass myself

[00:02:49] Dang Doug you thought this out

[00:02:54] And there's my family I love em they're good people

[00:02:58] They just don't get out much

[00:03:01] Mainly because of that no shirt no shoes rule

[00:03:05] They love that hotel though

[00:03:07] God they stole everything from that place

[00:03:10] They stole the ashtrays while we were checkin in

[00:03:14] Didn't even dump the sand out of em Just picked em up and walked out

[00:03:25] Stole everything I mean you get outta the shower and your dryin off with toilet paper cuz tehy ahve teh towels in teh piggly wiggly bags

[00:03:33] And one day one of the maids made the mistake of goin to lunch and leavin her cart out in the hall

[00:03:38] They were on that like a pack of dogs on a 3 legged cat Picked it clean

[00:03:45] I asked my brother later I said what are you gonan do with 180 shower caps

[00:04:16] He said Christmas presents

[00:04:41] Then his wife got mad well thanks for spoilin it for everybody else