《Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun?》歌词

[00:00:00] Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun? - Noel Coward

[00:00:08] Colonel montmorency who was in calcutta in ninety two

[00:00:11] Emerged from his retirement for the war

[00:00:14] He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw

[00:00:18] But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a corps

[00:00:22] Poor colonel montmorency thought all the wars he'd faught

[00:00:26] The home guard was his job to do or die

[00:00:30] But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears

[00:00:33] He wrote the following letter to the minister of supply

[00:00:37] Couls you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:00:41] Or failing that a hand grenade will do

[00:00:44] We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition

[00:00:48] And major huss has a arquebus that was used at waterloo

[00:00:52] With the vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave

[00:00:55] It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome

[00:00:59] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:01:03] The home guard might as well go home

[00:01:06] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:01:10] We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots

[00:01:14] Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment

[00:01:17] And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots

[00:01:21] On sunday's mock invasion captain clark was heard to say

[00:01:24] He hadn't even got a brush and comb

[00:01:28] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:01:31] The home guard might as well go home

[00:01:39] Colonel montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land

[00:01:42] To drive them back with skill and armoured force

[00:01:46] He realised his army should be mechanised of course

[00:01:50] But somewhere inside experience cried my kingdom for a horse

[00:01:55] Poor colonel montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride

[00:02:00] To tackle his superiors again

[00:02:03] Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike

[00:02:07] He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain

[00:02:11] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:02:15] We need it very badly I'm afraid

[00:02:18] Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver

[00:02:22] But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid

[00:02:26] In course of operations planned for friday afternoon

[00:02:30] Our orders are to storm the hippodrome

[00:02:33] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:02:37] The home guard might as well go home

[00:02:41] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:02:44] The lack of one is wounding to our pride

[00:02:48] Last night we found the cutest little german parachutist

[00:02:51] He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried

[00:02:55] We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching through berlin

[00:02:59] We'd almost be ashamed of it in rome

[00:03:02] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:03:06] The home guard might as well go home