《Funnier With A Plank》歌词

[00:00:21] we decided to go through the fields with it.

[00:00:23] stevie thinking it might be embarrassing carrying a carpet along the roadside.

[00:00:26] as we got to the first gate we saw mary coming the other way.

[00:00:29] "just out for a walk then lads?" she said. that's right.

[00:00:32] we always like to carry a full size floor carpet between us when we're out stretching our legs.

[00:00:36] it wasn't that hard actually. not heavy between us or anything, more awkward.

[00:00:40] it sags in the middle, and has this course, scratchy underlay that itches your arms and shoulders.

[00:00:44] we didn't really need a rest, but when we came to that farm tea kitchen thing we got a can each and had a sit down.

[00:00:50] at which point that carpet came in pretty handy actually.

[00:00:53] and stevie's watching these cows in a field and he says that places like farms and zoos make him sick.

[00:00:57] keeping animals fenced in for our own enjoyment and everything.

[00:01:00] i want to say that i'm not sure we should enforce a contemporary human psychological perspective on what are only animals,

[00:01:06] but decided it would be lost and instead concentrated on watching a cloud that looked like wile e. coyote biting a monkey's shoulder.

[00:01:11] it wasn't much further, but when we got it there i couldn't helped but be underwhelmed by the gratitude.

[00:01:16] "just put it down there," she says. and that's it. a minute later we're walking back.

[00:01:20] i can still see wile e. coyote and the monkey. and as we're going it starts to get cold in the fields and the wind starts to pick up.

[00:01:26] and out of nowhere, stevie is gone. off over the fence and in with his cows. i wait. and i shout. and then i think sod it and piss off home.

[00:01:34] but the next morning, i'm in the newsagents getting some milk, and just as i bloody well turn to leave, it's there.

[00:01:38] a whole one. a real one. blocking my path. right in the doorway of a newsagents, eating the newspapers.