《Andy The Frog》歌词

[00:03:13] Once upon a time, there was a frog named Andy. Andy lived at the Patten Park Pond and had never hopped anywhere else his entire frog life.

[00:03:13] He had 3 best friends.

[00:03:13] Millie- who never left her lily pad, Billie- who was always hopping mad, and Roger- who was arrested for possession of tadpole porn.

[00:03:13] So one day, Andy saw something hop across the grass on the other side of the pond!

[00:03:13] "Millie, Billie, Roger, look!" said Andy.

[00:03:13] Across the pond stood the most beautiful frog that Andy had ever seen.

[00:03:13] "She's gorgeous!" said Millie.

[00:03:13] "She's beautiful!" said Billie.

[00:03:13] "BIT OLD FOR MY TASTE." said Roger.

[00:03:13] (Classic Roger.)

[00:03:13] And then she was gone.

[00:03:13] "I need to go find her," said Andy, "I need to follow my little frog heart."

[00:03:13] So Andy followed the beautiful frogs footsteps into the forest.

[00:03:13] He then came across a turtle.

[00:03:13] "You can't pass!" said the turtle.

[00:03:13] "Please?" said Andy.

[00:03:13] "NO." said the turtle.

[00:03:13] (and uh, this is the first long, convoluted simile.)

[00:03:13] Then, there was a rustling in the bushes, and like a man who had been shot in the chest with a rifle, the turtle was shot in the chest with a rifle.

[00:03:13] Andy kept moving, but at this point, like the doctor of a Kenyan track team, his patience ran thin.

[00:03:13] Andy kept moving.

[00:03:13] He then came across a giant crocodile, and the crocodile began to chant: "I woke up this morning and I sat on a log, I opened up the menu and the menu said frog!"

[00:03:13] Andy said, "NO! No, please let go of me, I can feel myself dying, you're ripping up my insides, I'm never gonna find her am I, there's no god is there, f**k, f**k!"

[00:03:13] The End.

[00:03:13] (If you're curious the moral of that story is irrelevant because we're humans, and it was about a. why would it apply to us?)