《The Biggest Aspidistra in the World》歌词

[00:00:00] The Biggest Aspidistra in the World - Gracie Fields/Ray Noble

[00:00:07] For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot

[00:00:13] On the whatnot near the 'atstand in the 'all

[00:00:19] It didn't seem to grow until one day our brother Joe

[00:00:23] Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall

[00:00:29] So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree

[00:00:36] And he's planted it against the garden wall

[00:00:41] It shot up like a rocket

[00:00:44] 'Til it's nearly reached the sky

[00:00:47] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:00:53] We couldn't see the top of it it got so blooming high

[00:00:58] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:04] When father's had a snoot full at his pub 'The Bunch of Grapes'

[00:01:10] He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes

[00:01:14] No you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes

[00:01:20] Off the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:27] We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade

[00:01:31] So they put the water rates up half a crown

[00:01:36] The roots stuff up the drains grow along the country lanes

[00:01:41] And they came up half a mile outside the town

[00:01:45] Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house

[00:01:50] But a jealous rival went and burnt it down

[00:01:57] The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out

[00:02:02] Up the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:08] They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout

[00:02:13] From the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:18] The dogs all come around for miles a lovely sight to see

[00:02:24] They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee

[00:02:29] So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree

[00:02:34] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world