《T-Ball and Indian Guides》歌词

[00:08:02] T-Ball and Indian Guides (LP Version) - Bill Engvall

[00:08:02] I just hate stupid people.

[00:08:02] They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid.

[00:08:02] That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?

[00:08:02] You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops,

[00:08:02] never mind"

[00:08:02] "I didn't see your sign."

[00:08:02] It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California our house

[00:08:02] was full

[00:08:02] of boxes and there was a u-Haul truck in our driveway.

[00:08:02] My friend comes over and says, "Hey, You moving?"

[00:08:02] "Nope."

[00:08:02] "We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many

[00:08:02] boxes it takes."

[00:08:02] "Here's your sign."

[00:08:02] Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

[00:08:02] We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

[00:08:02] modern man.

[00:08:02] So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

[00:08:02] Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

[00:08:02] A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled

[00:08:02] his boat

[00:08:02] into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass this idiot on

[00:08:02] the dock

[00:08:02] goes, "Hey, yall catch all them fish?"

[00:08:02] Nope.

[00:08:02] "Talked 'em into giving up."

[00:08:02] "Here's your sign."

[00:08:02] I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was

[00:08:02] playing with his little friend, and he hit his friend and I went up to

[00:08:02] him

[00:08:02] and I said "Hey, (smacks his boy), we don't hit." He looked up at me

[00:08:02] like, "Here's your sign, dad."

[00:08:02] Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

[00:08:02] We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

[00:08:02] modern man.

[00:08:02] So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

[00:08:02] Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

[00:08:02] I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel, there

[00:08:02] was a guy

[00:08:02] inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test that.

[00:08:02] "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want

[00:08:02] you to jump

[00:08:02] into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite

[00:08:02] you."

[00:08:02] "Well allright....hold my sign, I don't wanna loose it"

[00:08:02] Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

[00:08:02] We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

[00:08:02] modern man.

[00:08:02] So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

[00:08:02] Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

[00:08:02] Last time I was home I was driving around I had a flat tire, I pulled my

[00:08:02] truck into one

[00:08:02] of these side-of-the-road gas statioons, the attendant walks out, looks

[00:08:02] at my truck,

[00:08:02] looks at me, I swear to GOD he went, "Tire go flat?"

[00:08:02] I couldn't resist.

[00:08:02] I said "Nope".

[00:08:02] "No I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on

[00:08:02] me."

[00:08:02] "Here's your sign."

[00:08:02] Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

[00:08:02] We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

[00:08:02] modern man.

[00:08:02] So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

[00:08:02] People with them little bitty teenie weenie tiny monds...

[00:08:02] Here's your sign.

[00:08:02] We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, a guy come over to the

[00:08:02] house, drove the

[00:08:02] car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out

[00:08:02] of the car, reaches down

[00:08:02] and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Damn thats hot!"

[00:08:02] See...

[00:08:02] If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.