《The Maladjusted Jester》歌词

[00:00:00] The Maladjusted Jester - Danny Kaye

[00:00:00] Your majesty I have a confession

[00:00:04] My secret have a slow betray

[00:00:11] I was not a born fool

[00:00:17] It took work to get this way

[00:00:24] When I was a lad I was gloomy and sad

[00:00:25] And I was from the day I was born

[00:00:27] When other lads giggled and gurgled and wiggled

[00:00:29] I proudly was loudly forlorn

[00:00:31] My friends and my family looked at me clammily

[00:00:33] Thought there was something amiss

[00:00:34] When others found various antics hilarious

[00:00:36] All I could manage was this ho ho

[00:00:38] Or this ho waahhh

[00:00:41] My father he shouted he needs to be clouted

[00:00:42] His teeth on a wreath I'll hand him

[00:00:44] My mother she cried as she rushed to my side

[00:00:46] You re a brute and you don't understand him

[00:00:48] So they send for a witch with a terrible twitch

[00:00:49] To ask how my future impressed her

[00:00:51] She took one look at me and cried hehehehehe he

[00:00:57] What else could he be but a jester

[00:00:59] A jester a jester a funny idea a jester

[00:01:03] No butcher no baker no candlestick maker

[00:01:05] And me with the look of a fine undertaker

[00:01:07] Impressed her as a jester

[00:01:11] Now where could I learn any comical turn

[00:01:12] That was not in a book on the shelf

[00:01:14] No teacher to take me and mold me and make me

[00:01:16] A merryman fool or an elf

[00:01:18] But I'm proud to recall that in no time at all

[00:01:20] With no other recourses but my own resources

[00:01:21] With firm application and determination

[00:01:25] I made a fool of myself

[00:01:32] I bought a little gun and I learned to shoot

[00:01:34] I bought a little a horn and I learned to toot

[00:01:35] Now I can shoot and toot ain't that cute Plbbt

[00:01:45] I started to travel to try to unravel

[00:01:46] My mind and to find a new chance

[00:01:49] When I got to Spain it was suddenly plain

[00:01:50] That the field that appealed was the dance

[00:01:52] The Spanish were clannish but I wouldn't vanish

[00:01:54] I learned every step they had planned

[00:01:55] The first step of all isn't hard to recall

[00:01:57] Cause the first step of all is to stand

[00:02:00] And stand

[00:02:01] And stand and stand and stand and stand and

[00:02:07] They sometimes stand this way for days

[00:02:10] Then they get very mad

[00:02:11] At the floor and start to stomp on it

[00:02:14] (Smash Ow )

[00:02:23] After all of my practice the terrible fact is

[00:02:28] I made a fool of myself

[00:02:35] I sadly decided that dancing as I did

[00:02:37] To sing was a thing that was sure

[00:02:39] I found me a teacher a crotchety creature

[00:02:40] Who used to sing coloratura

[00:02:42] She twisted my chin pushed my diaphragm in

[00:02:44] With a poker she vocalized me

[00:02:46] When she said it was best that I threw out my chest

[00:02:48] You may gather that rather surprised me

[00:02:50] I was on solid ground till I suddenly found

[00:02:52] That in Venice I was to appear

[00:02:53] The gala locale was a choppy canal

[00:02:54] And me a high sea gondolier

[00:02:57] I nervously perched as the gondola lurched

[00:02:59] Before the King s palazzo

[00:03:00] As I started my song my voice it was strong

[00:03:05] But my stomach I fear was not so

[00:03:08] Oh solo mio oh

[00:03:14] Oh solo ooh Help

[00:03:23] When I fell overboard how his majesty roared

[00:03:25] And before a siesta he made me his jester

[00:03:27] And I found out soon that to be a buffoon

[00:03:29] Was a serious thing as a rule

[00:03:31] For a jester's chief employment

[00:03:33] Is to kill himself for your enjoyment

[00:03:34] And a jester unemployed is nobody s fool