《王爷与邮差》歌词

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[00:00:01] 王爷

[00:00:01] 您倒快跟上

[00:00:03] 哎

[00:00:18] 哎呦

[00:00:24] 哎呀 哎呀 小子

[00:00:26] 我让你慢点

[00:00:27] 你怎么就是不会呢

[00:00:30] 我这没敢快跑啊

[00:00:32] 我让你跑坏了

[00:00:33] 心里要念着京剧里的漫长锤

[00:00:36] 况气财气

[00:00:38] 哎 矿气财气

[00:00:39] 矿矿气气气矿气财气

[00:00:43] 管矿气排气

[00:00:46] 没错

[00:00:46] 矿器财神官

[00:00:48] 哎呦呵

[00:00:49] 哎呦 王爷

[00:00:50] 这么笨

[00:00:52] 傻瓜啊

[00:00:53] 您叫我呢

[00:00:55] 我说你傻瓜

[00:00:56] 哎

[00:00:57] 你怎么知道我小名儿啊

[00:00:59] 那你这大号儿二傻呀

[00:01:03] 怎么给我派了个傻子来呢

[00:01:06] 哎 那个

[00:01:07] 您不是要找一个

[00:01:08] 呃 傻点儿的

[00:01:10] 笨点儿的吗

[00:01:11] 我是要腿笨的

[00:01:13] 没有脑子笨的

[00:01:14] 我脑子可不笨

[00:01:16] 你不笨

[00:01:16] 我让你旷且抬气你都不会

[00:01:19] 我这不是 呃

[00:01:21] 况弃抬气

[00:01:22] 没错啊

[00:01:23] 不需要是据

[00:01:24] 好啦

[00:01:25] 我问你啊

[00:01:26] 嗯

[00:01:26] 咱们到哪儿了

[00:01:28] 嗯

[00:01:28] 咱们到到哪儿了

[00:01:29] 这是

[00:01:30] 这到处都是洋人

[00:01:32] 这小子不认识了

[00:01:34] 这不是万国运动场吗

[00:01:36] 哦 您认识啊

[00:01:38] 那是

[00:01:39] 您认识还问我

[00:01:41] 还说我傻

[00:01:45] 这是我王爷的谱儿

[00:01:47] 哦

[00:01:48] 您有谱儿了

[00:01:49] 呃

[00:01:49] 那我没谱啊我

[00:01:52] 哎

[00:01:52] 还不赶快禀报

[00:01:54] 哎 哎

[00:01:56] 启禀王爷

[00:01:58] 哎 到了

[00:01:59] 到了

[00:02:00] 到哪儿了 啊

[00:02:02] 是哪儿啊

[00:02:02] 逛国运动场

[00:02:03] 哎 就这儿儿

[00:02:05] 哎

[00:02:05] 过气他说了

[00:02:07] 我问你啊 哎

[00:02:08] 您说咱们干什么来了

[00:02:10] 哎

[00:02:11] 这不是跟洋人比赛跑腿儿吗

[00:02:14] 错了

[00:02:15] 咱们奉太后老佛爷的旨意

[00:02:17] 到这儿玩儿玩儿玩儿儿

[00:02:22] 咱是公费旅游来了

[00:02:26] 咱们是个洋人

[00:02:27] 玩玩

[00:02:28] 跟洋人玩儿啊

[00:02:30] 谁玩谁呀

[00:02:31] 是洋人玩我

[00:02:33] 还是我玩洋人呢

[00:02:35] 这不废话吗

[00:02:36] 你玩得了洋人吗

[00:02:39] 啊

[00:02:39] 您的意思让洋人玩我呀

[00:02:42] 姥姥说什么

[00:02:44] 哎哎

[00:02:45] 我说好啊

[00:02:48] 啊 我

[00:02:50] 我再问你啊

[00:02:51] 哎 您说

[00:02:53] 咱们应该跑第几

[00:02:56] 呃 听您的

[00:02:57] 拿第一

[00:02:58] 我什么时候说第一了

[00:02:59] 呃

[00:02:59] 您这不是指着第一了吗

[00:03:01] 这是第一吗

[00:03:02] 呃

[00:03:03] 这是第几呀

[00:03:04] 如果这是第一的话

[00:03:06] 那这个是

[00:03:08] 呃

[00:03:09] 这是大五哥呀

[00:03:12] 我问你

[00:03:13] 好这个呢

[00:03:14] 小五指

[00:03:17] 看清楚

[00:03:18] 那没错

[00:03:19] 是小拇指

[00:03:21] 我问你

[00:03:21] 这是第几

[00:03:24] 这是第几

[00:03:25] 第一呀

[00:03:26] 这怎么是第一啊

[00:03:28] 从我这数就是第一呀

[00:03:31] 那好

[00:03:32] 那你就考这个

[00:03:34] 从上边数

[00:03:35] 是嘛

[00:03:36] 还是第一

[00:03:38] 你怎么一二三四五都分不清啊

[00:03:40] 呃 我知道

[00:03:41] 六七八九十

[00:03:43] 那我告诉你

[00:03:44] 嗯

[00:03:45] 咱跑第几都成

[00:03:46] 呃

[00:03:47] 那我就撒开了跑吧

[00:03:49] 我就

[00:03:49] 就是不能跑

[00:03:51] 第一怎么了

[00:03:53] 你想跑了第一

[00:03:54] 洋人肯定不高兴

[00:03:57] 他不高兴怎么着

[00:03:58] 那老佛爷就要生气

[00:04:01] 他们是亲戚啊

[00:04:03] 你小子不是二傻

[00:04:05] 我是叫二傻呀

[00:04:06] 大傻

[00:04:07] 那是我哥

[00:04:12] 你们家还有更傻的吗

[00:04:14] 呃 有啊 老傻

[00:04:16] 谁呀 我爸

[00:04:19] 你瞧

[00:04:20] 这一家人是二傻

[00:04:22] 哎呦

[00:04:22] 您连我妈的名儿都知道啊

[00:04:27] 我是二傻呀

[00:04:28] 哎

[00:04:28] 您说你们这一家人还都傻活着呢

[00:04:31] 人驮王阳福还凑合着

[00:04:34] 来

[00:04:34] 我告诉你哎

[00:04:36] 老佛爷一生气

[00:04:37] 你们一家人的脑袋咔嚓就剁下来了

[00:04:40] 哎

[00:04:41] 要说这老娘们儿可够毒的

[00:04:43] 哎

[00:04:46] 你敢说老佛爷是老娘们儿

[00:04:48] 哎

[00:04:49] 他不是老爷们儿啊

[00:04:50] 那是太后啊

[00:04:52] 都不是小媳妇儿了

[00:04:54] 嗨

[00:04:55] 我跟你这傻人也说不清楚

[00:04:57] 哎 别

[00:04:57] 您慢慢说着

[00:04:59] 咱们来点具体的吧

[00:05:00] 还是别说具体的吧

[00:05:01] 一会儿啊

[00:05:02] 这枪一响

[00:05:03] 你就跟着洋人屁股后边跑就成了

[00:05:06] 我就跟着洋人屁股后头跑

[00:05:09] 哎

[00:05:09] 我就跟着羊人股股后头

[00:05:12] 哎哎 王爷

[00:05:13] 您看我跟哪个洋人屁股后头

[00:05:16] 哎

[00:05:16] 咱们好比啊

[00:05:17] 嗯

[00:05:18] 洋人就在这儿

[00:05:19] 这儿啊

[00:05:20] 这儿可没洋人

[00:05:22] 我说好比

[00:05:23] 洋人就站在这儿

[00:05:24] 哎 这没有

[00:05:25] 怎么比呀

[00:05:26] 我说是好比

[00:05:28] 没法比

[00:05:29] 那就别比了

[00:05:30] 不比更好了

[00:05:36] 看见我了没有

[00:05:38] 哎哎

[00:05:39] 看见王爷您了

[00:05:40] 现在好比

[00:05:41] 洋人哦

[00:05:42] 您现在好比洋人哎

[00:05:44] 你跟着我好

[00:05:45] 我就跟着您屁股后头跑

[00:05:47] 对

[00:05:48] 那您别老指这儿啊

[00:05:50] 我指这儿怎么了

[00:05:51] 那不成屁股了吗

[00:05:54] 我姓指

[00:05:55] 那您就是了

[00:05:57] 哎呀

[00:05:58] 那您是好哎

[00:06:00] 跟着您好

[00:06:01] 哎 汤

[00:06:04] 道歉

[00:06:05] 什么道歉

[00:06:08] 到哪门子歉呢

[00:06:10] 这叫给杨大人个面子

[00:06:12] 给他们

[00:06:14] 哎 哎 是

[00:06:16] 什么叫面子

[00:06:17] 你这脸 脸

[00:06:19] 脸呢 啊

[00:06:21] 这玩意儿能给他吗

[00:06:22] 怎么不能啊

[00:06:24] 我把我这黄脸蛋子给他贴他那白脸上

[00:06:28] 他不成二皮脸了吗

[00:06:30] 想吃我半皮蛋兄么

[00:06:32] 不

[00:06:32] 谁跟您犯脾

[00:06:33] 就说跟您这儿装傻什么

[00:06:35] 哎呀

[00:06:35] 我真傻呀

[00:06:36] 真傻

[00:06:38] 你快道歉

[00:06:40] 王爷

[00:06:41] 要道歉

[00:06:42] 因为他先跟咱们道歉

[00:06:44] 为什么

[00:06:45] 你想啊

[00:06:45] 那八国联军在北京干过什么好事儿

[00:06:49] 他们到现在

[00:06:50] 他把咱们地也割了

[00:06:51] 行了行了行了

[00:06:52] 这事儿是你管的吗

[00:06:54] 再说了

[00:06:55] 那也不叫割

[00:06:56] 对 那叫租用

[00:06:58] 租 租走吗

[00:07:00] 嗯 哥哥 走啊

[00:07:02] 就是他从他们家地啊

[00:07:04] 那咱就是地主了

[00:07:07] 他们家是佃户啊

[00:07:09] 哎

[00:07:09] 可谁见过有这么跟主子横的佃户啊

[00:07:13] 哎

[00:07:19] 奶壶不开酒的

[00:07:20] 哪壶

[00:07:22] 我 我 王爷

[00:07:23] 我实在不知道您哪壶开呀

[00:07:25] 就你这壶不开

[00:07:27] 我这壶开着

[00:07:28] 开什么开

[00:07:29] 我让你跑坏了

[00:07:30] 外 外人道 道歉

[00:07:31] 你总不会吧

[00:07:32] 在我这儿

[00:07:34] 王爷

[00:07:35] 我这不知道是怎么回事儿啊

[00:07:37] 啊

[00:07:38] 你实在不行啊

[00:07:39] 啊

[00:07:40] 你就跟人家笑笑总可以了吧

[00:07:42] 乖 笑一笑

[00:07:44] 啊 傻笑一下

[00:07:45] 是

[00:07:45] 傻傻笑一下

[00:07:47] 那行啊 行

[00:07:48] 来试试 哎哎

[00:07:51] 抗体

[00:07:51] 抗体抗体抗体

[00:07:52] 抗美呗

[00:07:53] 哎 笑

[00:07:55] 嘿笑

[00:07:58] 嘿笑

[00:08:00] 我不是笑啊

[00:08:01] 折腾

[00:08:02] 比哭还难看

[00:08:03] 哎呀

[00:08:04] 你

[00:08:08] 你笑要有礼貌吗

[00:08:13] 啊

[00:08:13] 还得有礼貌

[00:08:16] 哎呦 哎呦

[00:08:24] 二话

[00:08:25] 你肚子疼啊

[00:08:26] 别捂着肚子了

[00:08:28] 不是

[00:08:28] 你想真粗

[00:08:29] 你就不能养点

[00:08:31] 哎 啊

[00:08:33] 你当洋人

[00:08:34] 我当洋人

[00:08:36] 我来当邮差

[00:08:37] 您

[00:08:38] 您怎么能当

[00:08:39] 我让你看看我是怎么陪他们玩儿的

[00:08:42] 别别别

[00:08:42] 您不能当邮差呀

[00:08:44] 怎么了

[00:08:45] 那邮差是下人呢

[00:08:48] 您 您看

[00:08:48] 我们见谁都得叫爷走哪去

[00:08:51] 奴才给爷请安了

[00:08:52] 您能说这话吗

[00:08:54] 这有什么呀

[00:08:55] 奴才给爷请安

[00:08:58] 谁见过这么大谱的

[00:08:59] 奴才应该怎么着

[00:09:02] 您看我每天怎么跟您请安呢

[00:09:04] 啊 您 您看您

[00:09:06] 您后头

[00:09:06] 看着这儿

[00:09:07] 咱一见人都是哎呦

[00:09:11] 呃

[00:09:11] 奴才给爷请安了

[00:09:19] 哦

[00:09:19] 您大太爷请安了

[00:09:22] 呃 起来吧

[00:09:23] 哎

[00:09:25] 小子

[00:09:26] 占我的便宜

[00:09:27] 我是杨大爷不是吗

[00:09:29] 哦 好好

[00:09:31] 好你个爷大爷

[00:09:34] 哎 好了

[00:09:36] 我看看你这个假洋人

[00:09:38] 哎呀 啊

[00:09:39] 我这洋人可横

[00:09:42] 我要看看你能多横

[00:09:45] 哎呀

[00:09:45] 我这洋人可不大讲理

[00:09:48] 八国联军来北京的时候

[00:09:49] 他有讲理的吗

[00:09:51] 哎 君子一言

[00:09:52] 驷马难追

[00:09:54] 咱们走着

[00:09:55] 走着

[00:09:56] 抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美抗美

[00:10:01] 我超过你了

[00:10:02] 哎 我慢下来

[00:10:04] 哎

[00:10:04] 看见我笑了吗

[00:10:06] 才气 哎

[00:10:07] 看见后槽牙了倒是

[00:10:11] 哎

[00:10:11] 再给杨大爷笑开点儿

[00:10:14] 三岁口

[00:10:15] 你才三岁口呢

[00:10:17] 你说这这

[00:10:19] 这怎么跟杨大爷说话呢

[00:10:22] 嗯 啊 好 好啊

[00:10:24] 我们骚人

[00:10:25] 骚人

[00:10:26] 你才骚呢

[00:10:29] 你踢我

[00:10:29] 你敢骂我娘呀

[00:10:32] 啊

[00:10:32] 踢我两脚啊

[00:10:33] 我这还第三脚

[00:10:36] 我先留着

[00:10:36] 还留着还不行啊

[00:10:45] 你怎么着

[00:10:46] 你拽我的辫子赶

[00:10:48] 嘿

[00:10:48] 你不是说要陪洋人玩好吗

[00:10:51] 嗯 疼死我了

[00:10:53] 这八国联军进北京的时候

[00:10:55] 没少玩咱们老百姓的辫子

[00:10:57] 哎呀

[00:10:58] 您倒给杨大爷笑一个呀

[00:11:00] 哎呀

[00:11:00] 你给笑一个

[00:11:02] 哎呀

[00:11:02] 比哭还难看呢

[00:11:04] 这脸呐

[00:11:06] 你小子

[00:11:08] 反了你了

[00:11:08] 我揍你 你敢

[00:11:10] 我怎么

[00:11:11] 我是洋人 我 你

[00:11:12] 哎呦 哎呦 哎呦

[00:11:14] 不 爷 八爷 八爷

[00:11:16] 打枪啊

[00:11:19] 啊

[00:11:19] 这就说开始了

[00:11:20] 我 爷 二爷

[00:11:21] 洋人一个个全跑了

[00:11:23] 赶快给我追

[00:11:25] 得令

[00:11:26] 来

[00:11:43] 王爷

[00:11:44] 今儿咱得把中国人丢的面子给挣回来

[00:11:47] 明儿出去的土地

[00:11:55] 割出去的土地

[00:11:57] 也给要回来啊

[00:11:59] 我就不信没有英雄在世

[00:12:03] 早晚有一天

[00:12:05] 关公关云长挥起青龙偃月刀

[00:12:09] 嘿 到那时候

[00:12:11] 我看他们谁还敢随便踢咱们

[00:12:14] 打咱们

[00:12:15] 欺负咱们中国人

[00:12:17] 好

[00:12:19] 老小爷们儿们

[00:12:21] 前面还有一个洋人

[00:12:23] 我追还是不追

[00:12:25] 追

[00:12:26] 追你们的了

[00:12:28] 好

[00:12:32] 嘿 好 第一名啊

[00:12:37] 哎

[00:12:40] 这怎么交代代

[00:12:42] 启明王爷

[00:12:43] 小的我拿了个第一名

[00:12:47] 什么第一呀

[00:12:53] 我怎么就没看见呢

[00:12:56] 您怎么能看不见呢

[00:12:58] 您看着

[00:12:59] 满台的洋人都站起来冲咱喊了

[00:13:02] 他们喊什么

[00:13:03] 都喊什么

[00:13:05] 喊什么 OK呀

[00:13:07] ok

[00:13:08] 这就是说

[00:13:08] 咱们跑了你

[00:13:10] 他们也没生气

[00:13:11] 要不怎么说咱中国人得挺直了腰板儿当人呢

[00:13:15] 好嘞 二傻

[00:13:17] 那么赶回北京

[00:13:18] 找老娘们儿

[00:13:21] 我傻 没听见

[00:13:26] 他们找老佛爷

[00:13:28] 您傻

[00:13:29] 走着走

[00:13:31] 我说二傻呀

[00:13:32] 哎

[00:13:32] 人家都冲着你OK呢

[00:13:35] 就你走先了

[00:13:36] 哎

[00:13:36] 别见您走先

[00:13:38] 您走先了

[00:13:39] 您先走

[00:13:40] 你快走吧你

[00:13:41] 奴才就不客气了

[00:13:51] 哎

[00:13:52] 我是二傻啊

[00:13:53] 你会慢呐

[00:13:54] 你以为我真傻呀

[00:13:57] 啊

[00:13:57] 合着我傻呀

[00:13:59] 哎 这您自己