《The Biggest Aspidistra In The World》歌词

[00:00:00] Biggest Aspidistra In The World - Gracie Fields

[00:00:11] For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot

[00:00:14] On the whatnot near the 'atstand in the 'all

[00:00:18] It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe

[00:00:21] Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall

[00:00:26] So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree

[00:00:30] And he's planted it against the garden wall

[00:00:33] It shot up like a rocket 'til it's nearly reached the sky

[00:00:38] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:00:42] We couldn't see the top of it it got so bloomin' high

[00:00:46] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:00:50] When father's had a snoot full at his pub 'The Bunch of Grapes'

[00:00:56] He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes

[00:00:59] No you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes

[00:01:04] Off the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:10] We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade

[00:01:14] So they put the water rates up half a crown

[00:01:19] The roots stuff up the drains grow along the country lanes

[00:01:22] And they came up half a mile outside the town

[00:01:26] Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house

[00:01:31] But a jealous rival went and burnt it down

[00:01:37] The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out

[00:01:42] Up the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:47] They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout

[00:01:51] From the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:56] The dogs all come around for miles a lovely sight to see

[00:02:01] They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee

[00:02:06] So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree

[00:02:12] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world