《You’ve Got To Be Smart To Be In The Army.》歌词

[00:02:36] The Biggest Aspidistra In The World - Version 2 - Gracie Fields

[00:02:36] For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot

[00:02:36] On the whatnot, near the 'atstand in the 'all

[00:02:36] It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe

[00:02:36] Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall

[00:02:36] So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree

[00:02:36] And he's planted it against the garden wall

[00:02:36] It shot up like a rocket, 'til it's nearly reached the sky

[00:02:36] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:36] We couldn't see the top of it, it got so bloomin' high

[00:02:36] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:36] When father's had a snoot full at his pub, 'The Bunch of Grapes'

[00:02:36] He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes

[00:02:36] No, you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes

[00:02:36] Off the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:36] We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade

[00:02:36] So they put the water rates up half a crown

[00:02:36] The roots stuff up the drains, grow along the country lanes

[00:02:36] And they came up half a mile outside the town

[00:02:36] Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house

[00:02:36] But a jealous rival went and burnt it down

[00:02:36] The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out

[00:02:36] Up the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:36] They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout

[00:02:36] From the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:36] The dogs all come around for miles, a lovely sight to see

[00:02:36] They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee

[00:02:36] So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree

[00:02:36] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world