《The Return Of Albert(Albert Comes Back)》歌词

[00:00:00] The Return Of Albert (Albert Comes Back) - Stanley Holloway

[00:00:04] You've heard how young Albert Ramsbottom

[00:00:07] In the zoo up at Blackpool one year

[00:00:10] With a stick with a horse's head handle

[00:00:13] Gave a lion a poke in the ear

[00:00:16] The name of the lion was Wallace

[00:00:19] The poke in the ear made him wild

[00:00:22] And before you could say Bob's your uncle

[00:00:26] He'd up and he'd swallowed the child

[00:00:29] He were sorry the moment he'd done it

[00:00:32] With children he'd always been chums

[00:00:36] And besides he'd no teeth in his noddle

[00:00:39] And he couldn't chew Albert on the gums

[00:00:43] He could feel the lad movin' inside him

[00:00:46] As he lay on his bed of dried ferns

[00:00:49] And it might have been little lad's birthday

[00:00:52] He wished him such happy returns

[00:00:56] But Albert kept kicking and fighting

[00:00:59] Till Wallace arose feeling bad

[00:01:02] And felt it were time that he started

[00:01:05] To stage a comeback for the lad

[00:01:09] So with his head down in a corner

[00:01:12] On his front paws he started to walk

[00:01:16] And he coughed and he sneezed and he gargled

[00:01:20] 'Till Albert shot out like a cork

[00:01:24] Old Wallace felt better directly

[00:01:27] And his figure once more became lean

[00:01:31] But the only difference with Albert

[00:01:34] Was his face and his hands were quite clean

[00:01:38] Meanwhile mister and missus Ramsbottom

[00:01:41] And gone home to tea feelin' blue

[00:01:45] Ma says I feel down in the mouth like

[00:01:49] Pa says aye I bet Albert does too

[00:01:53] Said ma it just goes for to show yer

[00:01:56] That the future is never revealed

[00:01:59] If I'd thought we was goin' to lose him

[00:02:02] I'd have not had his boots soled and heeled

[00:02:06] Let's look on the bright side said father

[00:02:09] What can't be helped must be endured

[00:02:12] Every cloud has a silvery lining

[00:02:16] And we did have young Albert insured

[00:02:19] A knock on the door came that moment

[00:02:22] As father these kind words did speak

[00:02:26] 'Twas the man from the prudential he'd called for

[00:02:29] Their tuppence per person per week

[00:02:33] When father saw who had been knockin'

[00:02:36] He laughed and he kept laughin' so

[00:02:40] That the young man said what's there to laugh at

[00:02:43] Pa said you'll laugh and all when you know

[00:02:47] Excuse him for laughing said mother

[00:02:50] But really things happen so strange

[00:02:54] Our Albert's been ate by a lion

[00:02:57] You've got to pay us for a change

[00:03:00] Said the young feller from the prudential

[00:03:03] Now come come let's understand this

[00:03:08] You don't mean to say that you've lost him

[00:03:11] Ma says oh no we know where he is

[00:03:16] When the young man had heard all the details

[00:03:19] A purse from his pocket he drew

[00:03:22] And he paid them with interest and bonus

[00:03:26] The sum of nine pounds four and two

[00:03:30] Pa had scarce got his hand on the money

[00:03:34] When a face at the window they see

[00:03:37] And mother says eeh look it's Albert

[00:03:42] And father says aye it would be

[00:03:45] Young Albert came in all excited

[00:03:48] And started his story to give

[00:03:51] And pa says I'll never trust lions

[00:03:55] Again not as long as I live

[00:03:58] The young feller from the

[00:04:00] To pick up the money began

[00:04:03] And father says eeh just a moment

[00:04:07] Don't be in a hurry young man

[00:04:10] Then giving young Albert a shilling

[00:04:12] He said pop off back to the zoo

[00:04:16] Here's yer stick with the horse's head handle

[00:04:19] Go and see wot the tigers can do