《第27集_王爷与邮差_朱时茂，陈佩斯》歌词

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[00:00:01] 王爷

[00:00:01] 您倒快跟上诶

[00:00:23] 哎呦呀

[00:00:26] 小子

[00:00:26] 我让你慢点

[00:00:27] 你怎么就是不会呢

[00:00:30] 我这没敢快跑啊

[00:00:32] 我让你跑坏了

[00:00:34] 心里要念着京剧里的漫长腿

[00:00:36] 放弃才

[00:00:38] 所以我是应该放弃才气

[00:00:40] 我放弃才是放弃才气

[00:00:44] 放弃才气

[00:00:46] 放弃才是放

[00:00:48] 哎呦呵

[00:00:49] 王爷笨傻瓜啊

[00:00:54] 您叫我呢

[00:00:55] 我说你傻瓜

[00:00:57] 您怎么知道我小名啊

[00:01:00] 那您的大号二傻呀

[00:01:03] 怎么给我派一个傻子来了

[00:01:06] 诶

[00:01:06] 那个您不是要找一个

[00:01:08] 呃

[00:01:09] 傻点的笨点的吗

[00:01:11] 我是要会笨的吗

[00:01:13] 要脑子笨的

[00:01:14] 我脑子可不笨

[00:01:16] 你不笨

[00:01:17] 我让你放弃才性你都不会

[00:01:20] 我就不是死空气才性

[00:01:22] 没错啊

[00:01:24] 好啦

[00:01:25] 我问你啊

[00:01:26] 叔

[00:01:26] 咱们到哪儿了

[00:01:28] 咱们到

[00:01:29] 到哪儿了

[00:01:29] 这是

[00:01:30] 这到处都是洋人

[00:01:32] 这小子不认识了

[00:01:34] 这不是万国运动场吗

[00:01:36] 哦

[00:01:37] 您认识

[00:01:38] 那是您认识

[00:01:40] 还问我这还说我傻

[00:01:45] 这是我王爷的谱

[00:01:48] 您有谱了

[00:01:50] 我没谱啊

[00:01:52] 还不赶快禀报诶

[00:01:56] 骑禀王魉

[00:01:58] 诶

[00:01:58] 到了到了

[00:02:00] 到哪儿啊

[00:02:02] 是哪儿啊

[00:02:02] 我回去用查

[00:02:03] 哎

[00:02:04] 就这

[00:02:04] 哎

[00:02:05] 我替他说

[00:02:07] 我问你啊

[00:02:08] 诶

[00:02:08] 您说咱们干什么来了

[00:02:10] 诶

[00:02:11] 这不是孙杨的比赛跑腿吗

[00:02:14] 错了

[00:02:15] 咱们太后老佛爷的旨意

[00:02:18] 到这儿玩玩玩玩啊

[00:02:22] 还是公费旅游来了

[00:02:26] 咱们是跟洋人玩玩

[00:02:28] 跟洋人玩啊

[00:02:30] 谁玩谁呀

[00:02:31] 是洋人玩我还是我玩洋人呢

[00:02:35] 这不废话吗

[00:02:36] 你玩得了洋人吗

[00:02:39] 啊

[00:02:39] 您为意思让洋人玩我呀

[00:02:42] 老喽

[00:02:44] 这什么诶

[00:02:45] 我说好啊

[00:02:51] 哥说咱们应该跑第几

[00:02:56] 呃

[00:02:56] 听您的

[00:02:57] 那第一

[00:02:58] 那什么时候考第一了

[00:02:59] 您这不是只得第一了吗

[00:03:01] 这是第一呢

[00:03:02] 呃

[00:03:03] 这是第几了

[00:03:04] 如果这是第一的话

[00:03:06] 那这个是

[00:03:08] 呃

[00:03:09] 这是大拇哥呀

[00:03:12] 我问你这个呢

[00:03:15] 小拇指看清楚

[00:03:18] 没错

[00:03:19] 是小拇指啊

[00:03:21] 我问你这是第几

[00:03:24] 这是第几

[00:03:25] 第一呀

[00:03:27] 我怎么是第一呀

[00:03:28] 从我这数就是第一呀

[00:03:31] 不服道

[00:03:34] 从上边数是吗

[00:03:36] 还是第一

[00:03:38] 你怎么12345 都分着去哪

[00:03:40] 我知道六七八九十

[00:03:43] 那我告诉你

[00:03:45] 咱跑第几都成

[00:03:46] 呃

[00:03:47] 那我就撒开了跑吧

[00:03:49] 我就就是不能逃第一怎么了

[00:03:53] 你想好了

[00:03:54] 第一洋人肯定不高兴

[00:03:57] 他不高兴怎么着

[00:03:58] 那老佛爷就要生气

[00:04:01] 他们是亲戚啊

[00:04:03] 你小子不是二傻

[00:04:05] 我是叫二傻呀

[00:04:07] 二傻那是我哥家

[00:04:13] 我干啥的吗

[00:04:14] 呃

[00:04:15] 有啊

[00:04:15] 老傻谁呀

[00:04:17] 我爸一家人呦

[00:04:22] 您连我妈的名都知道啊

[00:04:27] 二傻呀

[00:04:29] 你们这一家人

[00:04:30] 她都咋活着呢

[00:04:32] 什王要活还凑合着

[00:04:34] 我告诉你

[00:04:35] 诶

[00:04:36] 老佛爷一生气

[00:04:37] 你们一家人的脑袋干嚓就剁下来了

[00:04:41] 哎

[00:04:41] 我说这老娘们我都毒打

[00:04:47] 我可是老娘们

[00:04:49] 可不是老爷们啊

[00:04:51] 太揍我我是小媳们呢

[00:04:54] 哎

[00:04:55] 我跟你这打人也说不清间

[00:04:58] 您慢慢说吧

[00:04:59] 咱们来点具体的吧

[00:05:00] 还别说具体的吧

[00:05:01] 一会儿啊

[00:05:02] 往天一想你就跟着洋着屁股后边跑就成了

[00:05:06] 我就跟着洋人屁股后头跑

[00:05:09] 我就跟着洋人屁头

[00:05:12] 王爷

[00:05:13] 您看我跟哪个洋人屁股后头

[00:05:16] 哎

[00:05:16] 咱们好比啊

[00:05:17] 嗯

[00:05:18] 洋人就在这儿

[00:05:19] 这儿啊

[00:05:20] 这儿可没洋人

[00:05:22] 我说好比洋人就站在这儿

[00:05:24] 呃

[00:05:24] 这没有

[00:05:25] 我怎么比啊

[00:05:26] 我说是好比

[00:05:28] 没法比

[00:05:30] 那就别比了

[00:05:31] 不比更好了

[00:05:37] 病看见我眼了

[00:05:40] 现在好比洋人哦

[00:05:42] 您现在好比洋

[00:05:44] 哎

[00:05:44] 你跟着我跑

[00:05:45] 我就跟着您屁股后头跑

[00:05:47] 对

[00:05:48] 那您别老指这啊

[00:05:50] 我指吓怎么了

[00:05:51] 那不成屁股了吗

[00:05:54] 我自己烂你就是了

[00:05:58] 您起床看看看看

[00:06:04] 诶

[00:06:04] 唱叫歉干嘛

[00:06:07] 道歉

[00:06:08] 道哪门子歉呢

[00:06:10] 这个给杨大人个面子

[00:06:13] 给他们诶

[00:06:15] 诶是什么叫面子脸呢

[00:06:20] 脸面啊

[00:06:21] 这玩意儿能给他吗吗

[00:06:23] 来了

[00:06:24] 我把我这黄脸蛋子给他贴他那白脸上

[00:06:28] 他不成二急脸了吗

[00:06:31] 我问急了

[00:06:32] 我跟你放皮

[00:06:33] 这不跟您这装傻么

[00:06:35] 我真傻啊

[00:06:37] 真傻还道歉

[00:06:40] 王爷啊

[00:06:41] 要道歉

[00:06:42] 因为他现在他不

[00:06:44] 不是为什么

[00:06:45] 你想啊

[00:06:46] 那八国联军在北京干过什么好事

[00:06:49] 他们到现在他把咱们地下割了

[00:06:52] 行了不行了

[00:06:53] 这事是你管的吗

[00:06:55] 再说了

[00:06:55] 那也不叫哥

[00:06:56] 这叫猪就不懂吗

[00:07:00] 这个走啊

[00:07:02] 就是靠工头干地啊

[00:07:04] 那咱就是地主了

[00:07:07] 横家是辩护啊

[00:07:09] 诶

[00:07:09] 可谁见过有这么跟主子横的辩护啊

[00:07:22] 我王爷

[00:07:23] 我实在不知道你哪壶开呀

[00:07:25] 就你这屋不开

[00:07:27] 我这屋开着呢

[00:07:29] 为什么开门让你跑开了外甥道歉

[00:07:31] 你怎不会让我这王爷

[00:07:35] 我这不知道是怎么回事啊

[00:07:38] 实在不行了啊

[00:07:40] 你就跟着笑笑总可以了吧

[00:07:42] 我笑笑

[00:07:44] 傻笑一笑

[00:07:45] 这啥傻笑

[00:07:47] 那行了

[00:07:48] 那看没看没看对我

[00:08:08] 你得不礼貌吧

[00:08:13] 还得有礼貌这个

[00:08:25] 肚子疼啊

[00:08:26] 你捂着肚子呢

[00:08:28] 不是你想

[00:08:29] 你就不能想

[00:08:31] 哎

[00:08:32] 啊

[00:08:33] 你当洋人

[00:08:34] 我当洋人

[00:08:36] 我来当邮差

[00:08:37] 你怎

[00:08:38] 我让你看看我是怎么陪他们玩的

[00:08:42] 您不能当邮差呀

[00:08:44] 咱们呀

[00:08:45] 邮差是下人啊

[00:08:48] 您啊

[00:08:48] 我们见谁都得叫爷

[00:08:51] 咱老把这奴才给爷请安来

[00:08:53] 您能说这话吗

[00:08:54] 这有什么呀

[00:08:55] 奴才给您请安

[00:08:58] 谁见过这么大步的奴才

[00:09:01] 您该怎么着

[00:09:02] 您看我每天怎么跟您请安呢

[00:09:05] 您

[00:09:06] 您看您

[00:09:06] 您坐的看见点

[00:09:07] 咱一县人都是哟

[00:09:11] 奴才给爷请安了

[00:09:21] 了

[00:09:22] 起来吧

[00:09:25] 想不看我的爷

[00:09:27] 我是杨大爷不是吗

[00:09:32] 洋

[00:09:36] 我看看你这个假洋人

[00:09:39] 我这洋人可恨

[00:09:42] 我要看看你能多横嘿

[00:09:45] 我这洋人可不再讲理把我邻居来北京的时候还有讲理了

[00:09:51] 诶

[00:09:51] 君子一言四马追我们走着

[00:10:01] 我超过你了诶

[00:10:02] 我慢起来

[00:10:04] 看见我笑了吗

[00:10:06] 气诶

[00:10:07] 看见后好点

[00:10:11] 在你200年小差点三岁狗

[00:10:15] 你看看是什么

[00:10:19] 这

[00:10:19] 这是怎么跟杨大爷说话了

[00:10:25] 人你还太骚呢

[00:10:29] 你是我敢把我讲呀啊

[00:10:32] 欺负两脚

[00:10:33] 我这还第三脚

[00:10:35] 我先留着还不行吗

[00:10:37] 我练你鞋不敢给我踢出来吗

[00:10:42] 小子

[00:10:47] 在我的垫子上

[00:10:48] 你不是说我陪着你玩好吗

[00:10:51] 我成说了

[00:10:53] 这80 年前进北京的时候

[00:10:55] 没少玩咱老百姓的面子哎

[00:10:58] 您倒给阎大爷笑一个呀

[00:11:00] 哎呀

[00:11:00] 你给笑一个呀

[00:11:02] 你我还敢

[00:11:04] 你看啊

[00:11:04] 这脸呐

[00:11:06] 你小子完了

[00:11:08] 你我揍你

[00:11:09] 你敢

[00:11:11] 我是羊人官

[00:11:12] 哎呦哎呦喂

[00:11:14] 王爷

[00:11:15] 王爷

[00:11:16] 大天了

[00:11:20] 死哎

[00:11:22] 一个个跑了

[00:11:24] 快给我追***来

[00:11:36] 王爷

[00:11:37] 我要子老爷

[00:11:44] 今咱就把中国人丢的面子给争回来吧

[00:11:52] 咱的房你有出去的土地

[00:11:56] 割出去的土地先给要回来

[00:11:59] 我就不信你有地雄百世

[00:12:03] 早晚有一天

[00:12:05] 关公我羽场会与青龙剑雨刀

[00:12:09] 嘿

[00:12:10] 到那时候

[00:12:11] 我看他们血海战

[00:12:13] 你辈死他们打咱们

[00:12:15] 欺负咱们中国人好

[00:12:19] 老小爷们们人

[00:12:21] 这还有一个人呢

[00:12:23] 我追还是不追

[00:12:26] 追你们的了好

[00:12:34] 第一名怎么怎么交代呀

[00:12:43] 启禀王爷啊

[00:12:45] 小的我拿了个第一名什么

[00:12:53] 我怎么就没看见呢

[00:12:56] 你怎么能看不见呢

[00:12:58] 你看这满台的秧子都站起来

[00:13:01] 臭敢喊呢

[00:13:02] 他们喊什么都喊什么喊什么

[00:13:06] OK 呀

[00:13:07] 看这就是说咱们好了

[00:13:09] 你他们也没生气

[00:13:11] 要不怎们说咱中国人得挺直了腰板当人呀

[00:13:16] 好了儿啥

[00:13:17] 那么赶回北京找老娘们

[00:13:21] 我傻

[00:13:22] 没听见啊

[00:13:27] 老爷您傻傻儿子喝

[00:13:31] 我喝二茶呀

[00:13:33] 人家都冲着你OK 呢

[00:13:35] 你走先了

[00:13:36] 别介

[00:13:37] 你走先

[00:13:38] 你走先了先走

[00:13:40] 你快走吧

[00:13:42] 就不客气了

[00:13:51] 我我还傻啊

[00:13:53] 你会干呢

[00:13:55] 你以为我真傻呀啊

[00:13:57] 活着我傻呀

[00:13:59] 还这你自己说的