《The Kids (Laugh Out Loud)》歌词

[00:00:00] Eminem- The Kids

[00:00:00] And everyone should get along..

[00:00:04] Okay children quiet down, quiet down

[00:00:08] Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day

[00:00:12] His name is Mr. Shady

[00:00:14] Children quiet down please

[00:00:16] Brian don't throw that (Shut UP!)

[00:00:18] Mr. Shady will be your new substitute

[00:00:20] While Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (He's got AIDS!)

[00:00:23] Good luck Mr. Shady

[00:00:25] Hi there little boys and girls (F**k you!)

[00:00:26] Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels

[00:00:28] But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)

[00:00:31] Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom

[00:00:34] And he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot

[00:00:37] But his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot

[00:00:40] And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot

[00:00:41] And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock

[00:00:44] When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog

[00:00:47] Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)

[00:00:50] And even if they escaped and they got the cops

[00:00:52] The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge

[00:00:55] Til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job

[00:00:57] When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk

[00:01:00] But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off

[00:01:02] But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker

[00:01:05] Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka

[00:01:08] You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."

[00:01:11] He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her

[00:01:13] And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her

[00:01:16] But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander

[00:01:18] They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner

[00:01:21] And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,

[00:01:23] And what it might do to you

[00:01:27] So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you

[00:01:28] See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)

[00:01:29] And if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)

[00:01:32] And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)

[00:01:34] She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)

[00:01:37] So kids say no to drugs (that's right)

[00:01:40] So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)

[00:01:42] Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)

[00:01:45] Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[00:01:48] My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?

[00:01:50] F**K NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)

[00:01:53] Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?

[00:01:56] Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world

[00:01:58] If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it

[00:02:00] Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid

[00:02:03] And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back

[00:02:06] So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back

[00:02:08] Meet Zach, twenty-one years old

[00:02:10] After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold

[00:02:14] And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys

[00:02:16] And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it

[00:02:19] Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive

[00:02:22] And his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb}

[00:02:24] His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches

[00:02:27] He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}

[00:02:30] And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him

[00:02:32] "Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"

[00:02:35] Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny

[00:02:37] So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money

[00:02:40] Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over

[00:02:43] And his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga

[00:02:46] And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac

[00:02:48] So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you

[00:02:51] See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)

[00:02:53] And if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)

[00:02:56] And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)

[00:02:59] She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)

[00:03:01] So kids say no to drugs (that's right)

[00:03:04] So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)

[00:03:07] Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)

[00:03:09] Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[00:03:12] And last but not least, one of the most humungous

[00:03:14] Problems among young people today, is fungus

[00:03:17] It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,

[00:03:19] Bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it

[00:03:22] Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff

[00:03:25] And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..

[00:03:27] And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)

[00:03:30] Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair

[00:03:33] (Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire

[00:03:35] Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)

[00:03:38] And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms

[00:03:41] Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms?

[00:03:42] I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)

[00:03:46] Cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)

[00:03:49] See drugs are bad, it's a common fact

[00:03:51] But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)

[00:03:53] But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.

[00:03:56] They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee

[00:03:59] And get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault

[00:04:04] See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)

[00:04:04] Cause I'm bad for you

[00:04:07] And if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)

[00:04:10] And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)

[00:04:12] She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)

[00:04:15] So kids say no to drugs (that's right)

[00:04:18] So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)

[00:04:21] Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)

[00:04:23] Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[00:04:26] Come on children, clap along (Shut UP!)

[00:04:29] Sing along children (Suck my motherf**kin dick!)

[00:04:32] Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)

[00:04:37] So don't do drugs (Suck my motherf**kin penis!)

[00:04:41] So there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)

[00:04:45] (Mushrooms killed Kenny! fart Ewww, ahhh!)

[00:04:51] (So, f**ked up, right now..)