《J. O. S.》歌词

[00:11:58] JOS - Smith

[00:11:58] And now we wish to honor you with

[00:11:58] The story of Joseph Smith, the American Moses

[00:11:58] Well, this is very good, praise Christ

[00:11:58] Mormon

[00:11:58] I'm going to take you back in time

[00:11:58] (Mormon)

[00:11:58] To the United States, 1823

[00:11:58] (Mormon)

[00:11:58] A small and odd village called Upstate New York

[00:11:58] (Upstate)

[00:11:58] There was disease and famine

[00:11:58] (So sick)

[00:11:58] But also in this village lived a simple farmer

[00:11:58] Who would change everything

[00:11:58] His name was Joseph Smith

[00:11:58] Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya Joseph Smith, American Moses

[00:11:58] Praise be to Joseph, American prophet man

[00:11:58] Aye, my name is Joseph Smith

[00:11:58] And I am going to ***** this baby

[00:11:58] What?

[00:11:58] No no Joseph, don't ***** the baby

[00:11:58] Joseph Smith, don't ***** the baby

[00:11:58] Suddenly the clouds parted

[00:11:58] And Joseph Smith was visited by God

[00:11:58] Joseph Smith, do not ***** a baby

[00:11:58] I will get rid of your AIDS, if you ***** this frog

[00:11:58] Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya

[00:11:58] Joseph Smith *****ed the frog God gave him

[00:11:58] And his AIDS went away

[00:11:58] Then a great wizard named Moroni came down

[00:11:58] From the Starship Enterprise

[00:11:58] Joseph Smith, your village is shit

[00:11:58] You shall lead the villagers to a new village

[00:11:58] Take these *****ing golden plates

[00:11:58] Away

[00:11:58] And on the plates were written the directions to a new land

[00:11:58] Sal Tlay Ka Siti

[00:11:58] (Sal Tlay Ka Siti)

[00:11:58] Joseph tried to convince all the villagers

[00:11:58] To follow him and his golden plates

[00:11:58] Liberation, equality

[00:11:58] No more slavery for Upstate Mormon people

[00:11:58] I got de golden plates

[00:11:58] (Gold plates)

[00:11:58] I'm gonna lead the people

[00:11:58] (We head West)

[00:11:58] We gotta stick together

[00:11:58] (Mormons)

[00:11:58] We gotta help each other

[00:11:58] (We're Mormons)

[00:11:58] And so we climb the mountain

[00:11:58] (We head West)

[00:11:58] And we cross the river

[00:11:58] (We head West)

[00:11:58] And we fight the oppression

[00:11:58] (Mormons)

[00:11:58] By being nice to everyone

[00:11:58] (We are Mormons)

[00:11:58] Not so fast Mormons, you shall not pass my mountain

[00:11:58] Down from the mountain look who comes

[00:11:58] The American warlord Brigham Young

[00:11:58] Yes, I am Brigham Young

[00:11:58] I cut off my daughter's clitoris

[00:11:58] That made God angry so he turned my nose

[00:11:58] Into a clit for punishment

[00:11:58] Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris

[00:11:58] What will you do Joseph, will you fight the clitoris man

[00:11:58] Not fight him, help him

[00:11:58] Oh

[00:11:58] Joseph Smith took his magical ***** frog

[00:11:58] And rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit face

[00:11:58] And behold Brigham was cured

[00:11:58] Joseph Smith magical AIDS frog

[00:11:58] Brigham Young, frog on his clit face

[00:11:58] Brigham Young was so grateful

[00:11:58] He decided to join the Mormons on their journey

[00:11:58] Compassion, cutesy

[00:11:58] Let's be really *****ing polite to everyone

[00:11:58] I got de golden plates

[00:11:58] (Gold plates)

[00:11:58] I'm gonna lead the people

[00:11:58] (We head West)

[00:11:58] We gotta stick together

[00:11:58] (Mormons)

[00:11:58] Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad

[00:11:58] (Oh)

[00:11:58] After traveling for so long, the Mormons ran out of fresh water

[00:11:58] And become sick with dysentery

[00:11:58] Water go to the water, water go to the cup

[00:11:58] Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt

[00:11:58] Shit go in the water, water go in the cup

[00:11:58] Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt

[00:11:58] Ugh, oh *****

[00:11:58] Oh no, the prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick

[00:11:58] Shit go in the water, water go in the cup

[00:11:58] Cup go to the thirsty, shit go to the stomach

[00:11:58] Blood come out the butt, blood go in the water

[00:11:58] Water go in the cup, cup go to the tongue

[00:11:58] Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth

[00:11:58] Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt

[00:11:58] Brigham Young you must take the golden plates

[00:11:58] And lead the Mormons to the Promised Land

[00:11:58] Plghh

[00:11:58] Desperation, mortality, loss of faith

[00:11:58] I got de golden plates

[00:11:58] (Gold plates)

[00:11:58] I'm got to lead the people

[00:11:58] (We head West)

[00:11:58] We gotta stick together

[00:11:58] Even though their prophet had died

[00:11:58] The Mormons stuck together

[00:11:58] And helped each other and were really nice

[00:11:58] To everyone they came across

[00:11:58] And then one day the Mormons finally found

[00:11:58] Sal Tlay Ka Siti

[00:11:58] (Sal Tlay Ka Siti)

[00:11:58] And there, the Mormons danced with Ewoks

[00:11:58] And were greeted by Jesus

[00:11:58] Welcome Mormons

[00:11:58] Now, let's all have as many babies as we can

[00:11:58] And make big Mormon families

[00:11:58] ***** your woman, ***** your man

[00:11:58] This is all part of God's plan

[00:11:58] Mormons ***** all that they can

[00:11:58] We're in Salt Lake City land

[00:11:58] Thank you, thank you but now we are *****ing

[00:11:58] Thank you, thank you, but God wants us *****ing

[00:11:58] Thank you, thank you, but get back to *****ing

[00:11:58] Thank you, thank you, God

[00:11:58] Joseph Smith ***** frog

[00:11:58] Brigham Young clit face

[00:11:58] Shit come out the butt

[00:11:58] Jesus says *****, *****

[00:11:58] Mormons