《Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)》歌词

[00:00:00] Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West) - Jukebox Junctions

[00:00:05] You could hear the hoof beats pound

[00:00:06] As they raced across the ground

[00:00:09] And the clatter of the wheels as they

[00:00:10] Spun round and round

[00:00:12] And he galloped into market street

[00:00:14] His badge upon his chest

[00:00:15] His name was Ernie

[00:00:17] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west

[00:00:21] Now Ernie loved a widow a lady known as Sue

[00:00:24] She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number twenty two

[00:00:28] They said she was too good for him

[00:00:30] She was haughty proud and chic

[00:00:32] But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week

[00:00:36] They called him Ernie Ernie

[00:00:40] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west

[00:00:43] She said she'd like to bathe in milk he said

[00:00:46] All right sweetheart

[00:00:47] And when he'd finished work

[00:00:49] One night he loaded up his cart

[00:00:51] He said do you want it pasturize

[00:00:53] 'Cause pasturize is best

[00:00:55] She says

[00:00:55] Ernie I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest

[00:00:59] That tickled old Ernie Ernie

[00:01:02] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west

[00:01:06] Woo

[00:01:08] Now Ernie had a rival an evil-looking man

[00:01:12] Called Two-Ton Ted from

[00:01:13] Teddington and he drove the baker's van

[00:01:16] He tempted her with his treacle tarts and

[00:01:18] His tasty wholemeal bread

[00:01:20] When she seen the size of his hot meat

[00:01:22] Pies it very near turned her head

[00:01:24] She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said

[00:01:27] If you treat me right

[00:01:28] You'll have hot rolls every morning

[00:01:30] And crumpets every night

[00:01:32] He knew once she sampled his layer

[00:01:34] Cake he'd have his wicked way

[00:01:36] But all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk each day

[00:01:40] Poor Ernie Ernie

[00:01:44] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west

[00:01:47] Woo

[00:01:49] One lunch time Ted saw

[00:01:50] Ernie's horse and cart outside her door

[00:01:53] And It drove him mad to find it was

[00:01:55] Still there at half past four

[00:01:57] And as he lept down from his van

[00:01:59] Hot blood through his veins did course

[00:02:01] And he went across to

[00:02:02] Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his orse

[00:02:05] Whose name was Trigger Trigger

[00:02:08] And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west

[00:02:12] Now Ernie rushed out into the street

[00:02:14] His gold top in his hand

[00:02:16] He said If you wanna marry

[00:02:17] Susie you'll fight for her like a man

[00:02:20] Oh why don't we play cards for her

[00:02:22] He sneeringly replied

[00:02:23] And just to make it interesting

[00:02:25] We'll have a shilling on the side

[00:02:28] Now Ernie dragged him from

[00:02:30] His van and beneath the blazing sun

[00:02:32] They stood there face to face

[00:02:34] And Ted went for his bun

[00:02:36] But Ernie was too quick

[00:02:37] Things didn't go the way Ted planned

[00:02:40] And a strawberry-flavoured

[00:02:41] Yogurt sent it spinning from his hand

[00:02:44] Now Susie ran between them

[00:02:46] And tried to keep them apart

[00:02:48] And Ernie pushed her aside

[00:02:50] And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart

[00:02:52] And he looked up in pained

[00:02:54] Surprise and the concrete hardened crust

[00:02:56] Of a stale pork pie

[00:02:57] Caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust

[00:03:00] Poor Ernie Ernie

[00:03:04] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west

[00:03:08] Now Ernie was only fifty chird he didn't wanna die

[00:03:12] And now he's gone to make deliveries

[00:03:14] In that milk round in the sky

[00:03:16] Where the customers are angels

[00:03:18] And ferocious dogs are banned

[00:03:20] And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy

[00:03:23] Dairy land

[00:03:25] But a woman's needs are many fold

[00:03:27] And soon she married Ted

[00:03:29] But strange things happened on their wedding

[00:03:31] Night as they lay in their bed

[00:03:33] Was that the trees a-rustling

[00:03:35] Or the hinges of the gate

[00:03:37] Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate

[00:03:41] They won't forget Ernie Ernie

[00:03:45] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west