《Shticks Of One And A Half Dozen Of The Other》歌词

[00:00:00] Shticks Of One And A Half Dozen Of The Other - Allan Sherman

[00:00:06] She wheels her wheelbarrow

[00:00:10] Through streets that are narrow

[00:00:13] Her barrow is narrow her hips are too wide

[00:00:20] So wherever she wheels it

[00:00:23] The neighborhood feels it

[00:00:27] Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side

[00:00:33] In Dublin's fair city

[00:00:35] Where girls are so pretty

[00:00:38] My Molly stands out 'cause she weighs 18 stone

[00:00:43] (That's 256 pounds )

[00:00:46] I don't mind her fat but

[00:00:55] It's not only that but

[00:00:59] She's cockeyed and muscle-bound Molly Malone

[00:01:13] I know a man his name is Lang

[00:01:17] And he has a neon sign

[00:01:22] And Mister Lang is very old

[00:01:27] So they call it Old Lang's Sign

[00:01:34] Oh what have you done Billy Sol Billy Sol

[00:01:38] Oh what have you done charming Billy

[00:01:43] You took almost every cent

[00:01:46] From the you S Government

[00:01:48] Which you spent on fertilizer which is silly

[00:01:58] All day all night Cary Grant

[00:02:02] That's all I hear from my wife is Cary Grant

[00:02:07] What can he do that I can't

[00:02:12] Big deal big star Cary Grant

[00:02:21] Oh the moon is bright tonight upon the car wash

[00:02:25] So I'm having my Volkswagen washed again

[00:02:30] But the way things go with me the way my luck is

[00:02:35] Just as soon as they're finished it will rain

[00:02:43] On top of Old Smoky

[00:02:45] All covered with hair

[00:02:48] Of course I'm referring

[00:02:50] To Smoky The Bear

[00:03:02] Every time you take vaccine

[00:03:04] Take it orally

[00:03:06] As you know the other way

[00:03:09] Is more painfully

[00:03:16] My grandfather's clock was the best ever made

[00:03:20] By the Timex company

[00:03:25] Just like the clock John Cameron Swayze displayed

[00:03:29] Last night on the old tv

[00:03:34] Oh it works under water so perfectly

[00:03:39] And still makes a ticking sound

[00:03:44] Which my grandfather tried only this afternoon

[00:03:48] And that's how the old man drowned

[00:03:59] Do not make a stingy sandwich

[00:04:01] Pile the cold cuts high

[00:04:03] Customers should see salami

[00:04:05] Coming through the rye

[00:04:15] Oh I diet all day and I diet all night

[00:04:17] It's enough to drive me bats

[00:04:19] Got no gravy or potatoes

[00:04:20] 'Cause the whole refrigerator's

[00:04:21] Fulla polyunsaturated fats

[00:04:24] Fare thee well Metrecal

[00:04:26] And the others of that ilk

[00:04:28] Let the diet start tomorrow

[00:04:30] 'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow

[00:04:31] In a double malted milk

[00:04:38] When you go to the delicatessen store

[00:04:41] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:43] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:45] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:47] I repeat what I just said before

[00:04:50] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:52] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:56] Oh buy the corned beef if you must

[00:04:58] The pickled herring you can trust

[00:05:00] And the lox puts you in orbit aok

[00:05:05] But that big hunk of liverwurst

[00:05:07] Has been there since October First

[00:05:10] And today is the Twenty-Third of May

[00:05:15] So when you go to the delicatessen store

[00:05:17] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:20] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:22] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:24] It'll make your insides awful sore

[00:05:27] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:29] Don't buy the liverwurst