《Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun》歌词

[00:00:00] Could You Please Oblige Us with a Bren Gun - Noel Coward and Orchestra

[00:00:08] Colonel Montmorency who was in Calcutta in ninety two

[00:00:11] Emerged from his retirement for the war

[00:00:15] He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw

[00:00:19] But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a corps

[00:00:23] Poor colonel Montmorency thought

[00:00:26] Considering all the wars he'd faught

[00:00:28] The home guard was his job to do or die

[00:00:31] But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears

[00:00:36] He wrote the following letter to the minister of supply

[00:00:40] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:00:43] Or failing that a hand grenade will do

[00:00:47] We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition

[00:00:51] And major huss has a arquebus was used at waterloo

[00:00:55] With the vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave

[00:00:59] It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome

[00:01:03] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:01:07] The home guard might as well go home

[00:01:10] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:01:14] We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots

[00:01:18] Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment

[00:01:22] And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots

[00:01:26] On Sunday's mock invasion captain Clark was heard to say

[00:01:29] He hadn't even got a brush and comb

[00:01:34] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:01:37] The home guard might as well go home

[00:01:45] Colonel Montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land

[00:01:49] To drive them back with skill and armoured force

[00:01:53] He realised his army should be mechanised of course

[00:01:57] But somewhere inside experience cried my kingdom for the horse

[00:02:02] Poor colonel Montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride

[00:02:07] To tackle his superiors again

[00:02:11] Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike

[00:02:15] He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain

[00:02:19] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:02:23] We need it very badly I'm afraid

[00:02:27] Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver

[00:02:31] But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid

[00:02:35] In course of operations planned for Friday afternoon

[00:02:39] Our orders are to storm the hippodrome

[00:02:43] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:02:47] The home guard might as well go home

[00:02:51] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun

[00:02:54] The lack of one is wounding to our pride

[00:02:58] Last night we found the cutest little german parachutist

[00:03:02] He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried

[00:03:06] We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching through Berlin

[00:03:10] We'd almost be ashamed of it in the Rome

[00:03:14] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun

[00:03:18] The home guard might as well go home